Everything Is Horrible

Everything Is Horrible

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Everything Is Horrible
Everything Is Horrible
40% off sale ends with a Revolutionary Song!
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40% off sale ends with a Revolutionary Song!

Last day to subscribe at $30/year, $3/month. Join now and read an inspiring song for the fourth by me!

Noah Berlatsky's avatar
Noah Berlatsky
Jul 04, 2023
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Everything Is Horrible
Everything Is Horrible
40% off sale ends with a Revolutionary Song!
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Hey all! Just wanted to remind you that our sale ends today; $30/year, $3/month, 40% off like the subhead tells you. Do not disappoint the kitty! She wants cat food, or she will become…angry.

Get 40% off forever

And hey, to celebrate the collapse of twitter, the substack sale, and the 4th, I’ve included a poem about our founding fellas for subscribers. First stanza!

Revolutionary Song

There’s a great pale beetle in the brain of James Madison.
It crawls through his buttocks onto the cheese plate of Benjamin Franklin.
Cheese bounces like rubber upon the fiery honor of Alexander Hamilton.
The narrative journey wears the green plaid socks of George Washington.

Read the whole thing, which just gets sillier, by becoming a paid subscriber already!

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