Marriage Shouldn't Be Work

My relationship advice is: be more lazy

This is the moment! A year ago today I got on Notes and subscriptions ballooned. So…I’m hoping all the folks who signed up then are pleased with the blogging and will renew!

To encourage you all, I am reupping this piece about how to marry and keep being married from a few years back, which I don’t think is online anymore. Since I am still married, it is hopefully still relevant! Become a paid subscriber at $50/year, $5/month to read the whole thing!

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Every so often, I'll hear about an acquaintance or friend whose marriage has collapsed because of infidelity. And every time, I ask my wife the same question. That question being: Where on earth do these people find the time to have affairs, anyway?

I guess if you're really determined to be horrible and make yourself miserable, you can find the resources. But that seems like it ends up calling into question some common wisdom. Everybody always says that a marriage is something you have to work at. But I wonder if people do a little too much work. Marriage isn't a competitive sport, after all. You don't get graded on whether your house is spick and span, or on whether you can ever manage to actually cook a meal, ever, or even on whether or not you have a fever-pitch hot romance which makes the drapes catch on fire and the Siamese cat yowl and run for cover. Lower your standards, live in moderate amounts of filth, and go to bed early. The cat will thank you.

Admittedly, it's not quite true that no one will grade you.