“….but what they’re really angry about is that they haven’t slept with the right kind of women—ie, women who are perceived as impressive by other men.” Bingo. Women are often used as social currency which perpetuates patriarchy. Great post, Noah.
Excellent points! Being free from shame is undoubtedly something we should be talking about loudly right now as our grade schools are being forced to display the 10 commandments. The problem is that capitalism and religion (and patriarchy if you consider that separate from capitalism and religion) run on our shame.
I like this article a lot! One thing I’m noticing from women is an increased discussion on how singlehood can be an enriching experience, even if you ultimately desire to have a romantic partner. That’s so powerful too because it’s mainly women who are frowned upon for being alone, and happily so.
I really hope we live to see society uplift and celebrate human connections of all kinds because they all are important to our wellbeing. As dating and marriage trends change, our expectations of a what a “good life” is should be reflective of that rather be a major source of pressure for everyone to fit in for acceptance.
Great post! It made me think of a conversation I had with an older Gen X male friend who couldn’t understand the appeal of right-wing politics for young men, especially, because why would they want to see changes in laws and society that make them less likely to get laid and more likely to cause an unwanted pregnancy. This post says what I was trying to argue then, but hadn’t thought through — that for some guys, getting laid is far less important than feeling dominant. Still can’t really wrap my head around that.
"The right reliably, relentlessly, tries to ban and harass sex workers; the manosphere is certainly not interested in reminding men (or anyone) that masturbation is a thing you can do without shame if you are looking for sex."
Cue that deathless classic by Atlanta Rhythim Section, "Imaginary Lovers"
Imaginary lovers never disagree
They always care, they're always there when you need
“….but what they’re really angry about is that they haven’t slept with the right kind of women—ie, women who are perceived as impressive by other men.” Bingo. Women are often used as social currency which perpetuates patriarchy. Great post, Noah.
Excellent points! Being free from shame is undoubtedly something we should be talking about loudly right now as our grade schools are being forced to display the 10 commandments. The problem is that capitalism and religion (and patriarchy if you consider that separate from capitalism and religion) run on our shame.
I like this article a lot! One thing I’m noticing from women is an increased discussion on how singlehood can be an enriching experience, even if you ultimately desire to have a romantic partner. That’s so powerful too because it’s mainly women who are frowned upon for being alone, and happily so.
I really hope we live to see society uplift and celebrate human connections of all kinds because they all are important to our wellbeing. As dating and marriage trends change, our expectations of a what a “good life” is should be reflective of that rather be a major source of pressure for everyone to fit in for acceptance.
A personal fave book that came out in 1936 is Marjorie Hillis's "Live Alone and LIke It:"
I only wish I'd encountered it in my teens...
You know what really confuses men? That women find Jack Black attractive because he’s funny and cuddly.
Great post! It made me think of a conversation I had with an older Gen X male friend who couldn’t understand the appeal of right-wing politics for young men, especially, because why would they want to see changes in laws and society that make them less likely to get laid and more likely to cause an unwanted pregnancy. This post says what I was trying to argue then, but hadn’t thought through — that for some guys, getting laid is far less important than feeling dominant. Still can’t really wrap my head around that.
This whole essay is stuffed with crunchy zingers, but I like this one the best:
"But will being a good person lead inevitably to fulfilling relationships and fulfilling sex? I am skeptical!"
[points to entire known history of the human race and tragedy in drama]
"The right reliably, relentlessly, tries to ban and harass sex workers; the manosphere is certainly not interested in reminding men (or anyone) that masturbation is a thing you can do without shame if you are looking for sex."
Cue that deathless classic by Atlanta Rhythim Section, "Imaginary Lovers"
Imaginary lovers never disagree
They always care, they're always there when you need
Satisfaction guaranteed