Great insights, Noah, and a great discussion here. In 1996, when my daughter was five, we went with a couple of other families to see the live-action version of 101 Dalmatians. Cruella DeVil gets thrown into a vat of hot molasses, whereupon onlooking animals (raccoons, I think) laugh and hi-five each other. The audience laughed and cheer…
Great insights, Noah, and a great discussion here. In 1996, when my daughter was five, we went with a couple of other families to see the live-action version of 101 Dalmatians. Cruella DeVil gets thrown into a vat of hot molasses, whereupon onlooking animals (raccoons, I think) laugh and hi-five each other. The audience laughed and cheered along. Crawling into my lap, my daughter whispered to me, “We’re laughing because she’s mean, right?” I hadn’t expected that, and was trying to formulate an answer when she added, “But if she was nice we wouldn’t be laughing. Right?” It was a Disney movie. She was five.
This was a genuinely funny thing about my oldest kid--he would become extremely interested in defending, and even trying to convert--the villains at Disneyland. I don't remember how old he was...7? If we saw a villain, he'd make a beeline and spend a long time trying to talk the villain out of being a bad person. I'm sure the person in that Captain Hook costume was very confused.
He did this with all villains, in any movie or book. He would be distressed if they were 'cast off' --like made worthless --in the course of the film. The way I interpreted it was that he did not consider any person utterly worthless. Which is of course, something I wanted him to believe (but it is too complicated to explain to a child how this is true and yet some people have to be neutralized so they can't harm others). Anyway, I don't think I told him anything specific to make him believe this? It was just important to him that there be no outsiders, and he would sort of re-write the facts so that they were worthy of his empathy. But when he grew up, luckily, he did not become a pushover, and he is not confused about bad people or bullies. Maybe one thing about having this trait is that you are less likely to become vindictive. If you do not enjoy seeing even bad people harmed, you won't talk yourself into saying someone is bad so that you can harm them.
Your oldest sounds awesome! Although my one super power happens to be righteous indignation 😏, I do believe that, as we do everything possible to defeat fascism, we need compassion and empathy more than ever.
I know, right?! In the moment, I had no idea how to respond. But I’ve revisited that memory over time, and slowly recognized that while kids are naturally compassionate, we go to some lengths to train that out of them.
Great insights, Noah, and a great discussion here. In 1996, when my daughter was five, we went with a couple of other families to see the live-action version of 101 Dalmatians. Cruella DeVil gets thrown into a vat of hot molasses, whereupon onlooking animals (raccoons, I think) laugh and hi-five each other. The audience laughed and cheered along. Crawling into my lap, my daughter whispered to me, “We’re laughing because she’s mean, right?” I hadn’t expected that, and was trying to formulate an answer when she added, “But if she was nice we wouldn’t be laughing. Right?” It was a Disney movie. She was five.
She was figuring out how the tropes work!
This was a genuinely funny thing about my oldest kid--he would become extremely interested in defending, and even trying to convert--the villains at Disneyland. I don't remember how old he was...7? If we saw a villain, he'd make a beeline and spend a long time trying to talk the villain out of being a bad person. I'm sure the person in that Captain Hook costume was very confused.
He did this with all villains, in any movie or book. He would be distressed if they were 'cast off' --like made worthless --in the course of the film. The way I interpreted it was that he did not consider any person utterly worthless. Which is of course, something I wanted him to believe (but it is too complicated to explain to a child how this is true and yet some people have to be neutralized so they can't harm others). Anyway, I don't think I told him anything specific to make him believe this? It was just important to him that there be no outsiders, and he would sort of re-write the facts so that they were worthy of his empathy. But when he grew up, luckily, he did not become a pushover, and he is not confused about bad people or bullies. Maybe one thing about having this trait is that you are less likely to become vindictive. If you do not enjoy seeing even bad people harmed, you won't talk yourself into saying someone is bad so that you can harm them.
Your oldest sounds awesome! Although my one super power happens to be righteous indignation 😏, I do believe that, as we do everything possible to defeat fascism, we need compassion and empathy more than ever.
I know, right?! In the moment, I had no idea how to respond. But I’ve revisited that memory over time, and slowly recognized that while kids are naturally compassionate, we go to some lengths to train that out of them.